My approach to domination is based around sustaining the state of ‘what’s coming next’ – it’s about the threat, the unknown. For new submissives, that sense of apprehension is the most exciting thing about dipping a toe in the cool waters of BDSM for the first time.

I love introducing ‘beginners’ to the joys of dominant/submissive play, and I am well-accustomed to the excitable questions that arrive in my inbox prior to a first session. “What will it be like?”, “What toys will you bring?”, “What will you be wearing?”. Patience is a virtue, and one I value highly in my committed submissives – I relish in encouraging the delay of gratification (more on that another time). However, I do understand the desire to have something to fantasise about in the days that preceed a first encounter. That’s exactly why I thought it would be fun to write about three of my favourite toys that I always have on hand for a session with a newcomer.

The Pinwheel

A sensory BDSM experience can be good for your first time - a pinwheel or wartenberg wheel is fun to use for that

This pretty little thing is the Wartenberg wheel – or pinwheel – and it’s small, lightweight and sharp. Submissives who are new to the game always gasp a little when I pull one of these out for the first time. I like to enact a very cerebral form of control, and a lot of what I enjoy as a dominant is based on my experience as a submissive. Switching is rare for me these days but when I have explored submission (in quite some depth), I actually hated these kind of toys – seemingly for the exact reason that others enjoy it. It’s the way it creeps up on you. One moment you can barely feel it moving across your skin, but it swiftly rolls over somewhere more delicate and you realise you’re holding your breath.

Nipple clamps

Another toy I always like to try out on first-timers is the nipple clamp.  I tend to start off with something easy like a rubber-tipped crocodile clip, but once we’re established with those, I love Japanese Clover Clamps (pictured). These are especially pretty, and especially fun. The mechanism of the clover clamp means that pulling down on the clamp will tighten the hold on the nipple. This means a lot of added torment when I pull on the chain, attach weights to it or clip it to a handcuff which will then jerk at the nipple whenever the submissive moves to touch himself.

Japanese Clover nipple clamps - would you be willing to try these on your first time?

Nipples are a much-overlooked part of the male anatomy and I’m always eager to spread the good word about the range of sensations that can be explored. When I find a submissive who enjoys nipple stimulation and wants to go further, there are so many avenues to explore (clamps with bells, clamps that work with electro-stim, piercing clamps..!) but again, we’ll have to save that for next time.

Butt plug

The small weighted butt plug is another classic bit of kit for me. I make no secret of the fact that I love anal play and it’s rare that I attract anyone who doesn’t tell me that strap-on is something they’re keen to explore. This little plug was a great find for me. It’s small, and therefore easy for anyone who is just beginning to explore that part of their body, but the fact that it’s weighted gives an amazing sense of ‘fullness’. This one is 55g and is the smallest and most light-weight from this particular brand. Of course, if you discover an affinity for putting things in your butt, there are a wealth of other toys I can introduce you to. It would be my pleasure.

So, will you hand over your fate, and let me play? Get in touch here to arrange a session. If you’d still like to get to know me a little better before taking the leap of faith, you can read the rest of my blog posts here. You can also drool over more photos here or subscribe to my uncensored content and more regular updates on my OnlyFans.

Toys that could be used for a first time BDSM experience